Practice Your New Language: Trust Native Speakers To Help You Learn

Children possess one quality that adults need when learning a new language: the fearlessness to make a mistake.

This is especially true with very young children, those too young to have their every little mistake criticized and corrected.  When children do something for the first time, they just jump right in without a care.  They don't worry about how they might look or what someone might say about it.  

Adults, however,  are often afraid to try something new in front of other adults.  Why?
For fear of  looking, or seeming to be "silly" or "incompetent" or "stupid" or "crazy" or "childish" or "ignorant" or whatever… Most adults always want to appear to know how to do or say everything "the right way," don't we?   

This is the reason adults find new ideas so difficult to accept and adopt.  This is what, for example, makes it so hard for adults to learn a second language.  It is because we are afraid of making mistakes that we don't open our mouths very often to try out the new language.  We think: "What if I say the wrong thing?  Will people think I'm strange, or stupid, or something else bad?"  

That is a big problem.  I know; I have experienced the same feeling in my efforts to learn new languages.   I have had to keep pushing myself to open my mouth and just let the words come out, even when I wasn't sure if I knew the right words to say. 

This can be very uncomfortable sometimes, especially in the beginning, and I have often found myself almost silent around native speakers.  But I remind myself that it won't help me to learn their language if I don't speak it.  I know If I don't give them the opportunity to correct me, then I will have lost a chance to learn, so I must push myself to speak.  

And that's what all new language learners must do:  push themselves to speak, no matter what happens.  Usually native speakers will not think anything you say is stupid or crazy, although at times it might sound funny to them.  

When most people hear you speak their language with your native accent,  they will understand that you are a new speaker who is trying to learn, and they will try to help you the best they can.  But you must be willing to trust them to help you understand their language. 

So, isn't it only a matter of trust?  Isn't it true that we simply have little trust that the other person will give us the help and patience we need to learn?  

And, Isn't that what little children have: trust in other people?  Isn't that why they fearlessly jump into something new, because they trust that someone will help them out if they make a mistake?  If only we could be more like children.  Why does it seem to be so easy for them but so hard for us?  

Trust, for adults, is a very difficult thing to give to people we don't know very well.  When you trust someone, it's almost like you are giving them a gift. You are giving them the permission to treat you any way they want to. After you give your trust to them, you have no idea how they might use your gift and you can't control their actions.  You make yourself vulnerable or unprotected when you trust someone.   

What if they laugh at you or think you're stupid? That is the risk you take when you speak to a native speaker in their language. If you don't give someone the gift of your trust, then you keep yourself protected from their negative thoughts or insults, right?  Yes. That is the safe way. No risk.  

But then, you will never know if that person is a kind or considerate person, and if he or she is someone who wants to help you to learn.  And you take another risk: you risk losing a chance to practice your new language with the best possible teacher, in the best possible learning situation- speaking with a native speaker!   Is that what you really want?  

Of course not.  So, push yourself, and keep pushing yourself to speak to native speakers whenever you get the opportunity.  Make yourself trust native speakers to have the kindness to help you, and just forget the ones you meet who are not kind or seem too busy, or won't take the time.  

Trust me, there are many more kind people who will be happy to help you to learn their language.  That has been my experience, and I am sure it will be yours also.